There’s an iPhone mini sucker born every minute

Good news, iPhone mini-istas! We finally have definitive proof small phones are still a great market and Apple should bring back the best iPhone evah.

Nikkei reports that “Used iPhone 12 and 13 minis are hot in Japan as Apple screens go big”

According to Nikkei, Japanese consumers, who have a preference for smaller phones, are scooping up the iPhone mini at online resellers because Apple has rudely stopped selling the diminutive device (other than refurbs). So popular are minis in Japan that:

Sales of both models doubled by volume from the previous week [after the iPhone 15’s launch].

That is a fairly prodigious increase and as the founding member of the small iPhone fan club (and president… and treasurer… and groundskeeper… and…), no one would like to believe this is 100 percent true than the Macalope.

It is hard to have a death grip on an iPhone 13 mini when you have hooves, but believe the Macalope when he says he’s found a way to make it work. Still, let’s dig into this a little.

The horny one first saw this reported in a piece by 9to5Mac, which was a write-up of a piece by The Korea Herald, which was a write-up of the piece by Nikkei. Now you’re here reading the Macalope’s thoughts on it. And thus the internet goes ‘round and ‘round until we all get queasy and throw up into a trash can after getting off the ride.

Just kidding. This ride never stops.

First, let us remember that Nikkei was the outfit that back in 2017 pushed the idea that the iPhone X was a flop. That was quite the ride on the ol’ internet tilt-a-whirl and seemed to be baseless. Of course, Nikkei is a big news organization. It reports lots of things. Almost all of them are probably true! So, keep that in mind and maybe glare a little suspiciously at Nikkei as we read on, just to let them know we remember.

When you read the piece, you will find that the “doubled” data point that launched, well, not a thousand articles but several, comes from one place.

In the week after the iPhone 15’s Sept. 22 launch, consumers snapped up 5.4-inch (13.7 centimeters) iPhone 12 mini and 13 mini phones on an online marketplace run by Belong, part of the Itochu group.

Ah, the ol’ press release from an online reseller of used smartphones. If the Macalope had a bale of alfalfa for every time he saw that, he’d be stuffed. Which is not a joking matter. The Macalope’s cousin was stuffed. It was tragic.

“Used smartphones are now the main option for people who want the iPhone mini series,” said Masatoshi Ohno, head of Belong’s consumer division.

“All the smart people are shopping with us. These numbers don’t lie.” We see you, Masa, honey. We see you.

The Macalope doesn’t believe these retailers make up these data points, but they definitely write them up in press releases to get their names in the news and, boy, does it work. Ultimately, however, this is one result from one reseller. This is not, unfortunately for iPhone mini fans like this mythical beast, definitive proof of an overall trend.

Do Japanese consumers prefer smaller phones? Probably? Japan has long had a fascination with miniaturization, but neighboring markets such as Korea and China have both tended to prefer larger phones. Is it likely that after looking at the iPhone 15 lineup, a sizable number of Japanese consumers sighed heavily at the lack of a sub-gigantic phone and logged on to the thirsty online retailer to get iPhone minis? Yeah, that tracks.

Despite the lower-than-expected statistical impact of this, if the Macalope had Tim Cook’s fax number, he’d still print this Nikkei piece out and send it to him. Anything to get Apple to make small phones again.